Anger and bitterness are devastating to Biblical love, good relationships and growing in Christ. Failing to put off anger and bitterness grieves the Holy Spirit, gives Satan an opportunity in your life, obscures your witness to others, and disrupts the unity in the Body of Christ. Dealing biblically with anger and bitterness requires whole-hearted obedience to God’s Word in every circumstance and with every person, even if your feelings dictate otherwise (Matthew 5:16; Romans 14:19; 1 Corinthians 13:4?5; 2 Corinthians 2:10?11, 5:14?15; Galatians 5:17?26; Ephesians 4:1?3, 26?27, 31?32; 6:11; Colossians 3:8?15; Hebrews 12:15).
Anger (great displeasure, animosity) that is quickly aroused or quickly expressed is characteristic of the flesh apart from Jesus Christ and is contrary to Scripture (Galatians 5:19?20; Colossians 3:8; James 1:19?20).
Bitterness is related to anger and demonstrates a great dissatisfaction with God’s sovereignty in your life. Bitterness arises out of living to please self instead of living to please the Lord. (Acts 8:18?23; Romans 3:10?18, esp. vs. 14) and causes much trouble (Hebrews 12:15).
Since God’s Word commands you to put away anger and bitterness (Psalm 37:8; Ephesians. 4.31; Colossians 3:8), it is possible to do so (1 Corinthians 10:13; Hebrews 2:17?18, 4:15?16). You do not need to defend or preserve what you perceive to be your “rights” (Psalm 37:23, 84:11?12; 1 Peter 2:19?25), because God causes all things to work together for good to those who belong to Him and love Him (Romans 8:28?29). We are told to control our spirits (Proverbs 25:28), be slow to anger (James 1:19) and to deal with anger quickly (Ephesians 4:26?27).
We are told to put off anger, wrath, bitterness, quick-temperedness, dissension, abusive speech, and strife; and we are told not to take into account a wrong suffered (Matthew 5:21?22; 1 Corinthians13:5; Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:8; 1 Timothy 2:8; Titus 1:7). Instead, we are told to put on patience, kindness, humility, bearing with one another, tender-heartedness, forgiveness, love and self-control (Ephesians 4:31?32; Colossians 3:12?14).
Since Scripture states that a child of God is to be angry and not sin (Ephesians 4:26?27), it is possible to do so (Roman 6:12?13; 1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Peter 1:13?16). In order to “be angry and sin not” we must obey God’s Word with no exceptions (2 Timothy 3:16?17) and must completely follow the example of God (Matthew 5:48; Ephesians 5:1) and our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:14?16, 2:21?22).
Anger becomes sin when you:
A. Are Quick?Tempered or Have Angry Outbursts (Galatians 5:20; Ephesians 4:31; James 1:19)
B. Become Angry and Are Not Merciful, Compassionate and Forgiving (Nehemiah 9:17; Ephesians 4:32)
C. Seek Vengeance or Retaliation against Another (Romans 12:17?19; Hebrews 10:30)
D. Violate Biblical Love in Your Anger (1 Corinthians 13:4?8; 1 Peter 4:8)
E. Fail to Demonstrate the Fruit of the Spirit in Your Thoughts, Words or Actions (Galatians 5: 22?23)
F. Use Words That Are Not Edifying (Matthew 12:36?37; Ephesians 4:29)
G. Respond Angrily in Order to “Protect Your Rights” or “Get Your Own Way” (Luke 9:23; 2 Corinthians 5:15; 1 Peter 2:21?23)
Basic causes of anger:
A. A Violation of My Rights
B. A Frustration of My Goals
C. A Disappointment of My Expectations
D. A Denial of My Needs
How not to act when anger comes:
A. By Justifying – Some excuse anger saying, “God was angry (Numbers 25:4) and Jesus was angry (Mark 3.5), so I can be angry too.” Unlike God, our flesh is in continual conflict between good and evil (Romans 7:14, 25; Galatians 5:17). As a result, we have difficulty responding to emotionally?charged situations without sinning.
B. By Exploding – You explode in a rage or temper, striking out physically or verbally at people or things (this disregards Proverbs 16:32; Matthew 7:12; Romans 14:19; 1 Corinthians 13:4?5; Colossians 3:17).
C. By Ventilating – You express anger outwardly (“ventilate your anger”) by beating a pillow (or another inanimate object) while thinking (or speaking) about the person with whom you are angry or bitter (this disregards Psalm 19:14; 2 Corinthians 10:5; Philippians 2:3?4, 4:8?9; Colossians 3:2).
D. By Selecting – You control your temper at work (in front of your boss) and at church (in front of Christian brothers and sisters), but you exercise little or no control at home.
E. By Harboring – You have an abiding (continuing) anger against another (Matthew 5:21?22) or let the sun go down on your anger (i.e., fail to deal with your anger in a biblical manner but harbor it instead) (Ephesians 4:26).
F. By Resenting – You become angry and neglect to rejoice, to pray or to give thanks in the situation in which you find yourself (1 Thessalonians 5:16?18).
1. Definition – Resentment is a subtle emotion and is often mistaken for its close relative, the grudge. Grudges include a quest for revenge – an obsessive need to get back at another person or organization for some insult. Resentment is a continuous seething anger that doesn’t lead to any specific retaliation. Hostility is rarely expressed directly to the person or people who are resented. When people act on their resentment, they almost always act inappropriately because resentment is based on thinking errors which cause people to distort or misunderstand the events that lead to resentment in the first place.
2. Why we become resentful – Resentment is usually triggered by an event that is perceived as unfair. In some cases, people become resentful because they are oversensitive. They are bothered by what most would consider rather petty or unimportant issues. What is most inwardly damaging about resentment is that it relieves us of responsibility for owning up to the quality of our choices and of changing our lives in positive ways. It is often easier to remain a resentful victim than to acknowledge that some of our strategies do not work or to admit that we have made wrong decisions along the way.
G. By Responding Badly – You sin when you respond angrily in areas where Scripture has already told you how to act with regard to:
1. An enemy You must look for and meet his needs (Romans 12:20) and show love to him (Luke 6:35).
2. Civic authorities You are to obey them and give to them what is due (Romans 13:1?8; 1 Pet. 2:13?15), unless their demands contradict God’s Word and would force you to sin.
3. An unreasonable supervisor You are to submit (1 Pet. 2:18), except when doing so would cause you to disobey Scripture (Genesis 39:7?9).
4. Your circumstances You are to trust God and be content (Ecclesiastes:14; Romans 8:28?29; Philippians 4:11?13; 1 Timothy 6:6?8).
5. Your trials You are to cooperate with God and respond joyfully as He develops Christlike character in your life (Romans 5:3?5; James 1:2?4).
6. Unjust treatment You are patiently to endure and thus find favor with God (1 Peter 2:19?20).
7. Fellow believers who are caught in sin You are to restore them in gentleness (Gal 6:1) and not regard them as enemies (2 Thessalonians 3:15).
8. Your parents (while they are in biblical authority over you) You are to obey them in a manner that pleases the Lord (Ephesians 6:1; Col. 3:20).
9. Your children You are not to provoke them to wrath but are to teach them with the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
10. Husbands and wives Each is to submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21) and to love each other in a consistently biblical manner (1 Corinthians 13:4?8; Ephesians 5:25; Titus 2:4).
11. Scripturally qualified church leaders You are to obey them (Hebrews 13:17) and to esteem them highly in love (1Thessalonians 5:12?13)
Working from inside out:
A. Your Heart Is Revealed by Your Thoughts, Words, and Actions (Matthew 12:34-35, 15:18?20; Mark 7:20?23; Luke 6:45). Sinful anger reveals that you are living to please yourself (2 Corinthians 5:15; Galatians 5:16 ? 21; Colossians 1:10).
B. One Who Is Slow to Anger Has Great Understanding (Proverbs 14:29). He is better than the mighty (Proverbs 16:32), is able to pacify contention (Proverbs 15:18) and is obedient to God’s Word (James 1:19 ? 20).
C. One Who Is Wise Turns Away Anger (Proverbs 29:8) and Holds Back His Own Anger (Proverbs 29:11).
To “Turn the other cheek” (Matthew 5:20?22, 38- 42)
A. We Are All Guilty of These:
1. Anger (orge) – A subtle kind of anger – a long-lived selfish, bitter anger.
2. Raca – A word of contempt – to call a man a nobody, a nothing.
3. Fool (moros) – An immoral fool – the one who ruins and kills a man’s reputation.
No passage is better known, or more misunderstood than this one. The Sermon on the Mount is not meant to be a detailed set of rules for every situation of life. The believer must rely on the Holy Spirit and the Word to guide him. We are to use the spirit not the letter. Jesus is not talking to nations here but to individuals who understood the Beatitudes.
The purpose of the Old Testament law (the law of retaliation – Exodus 21:24; Deuteronomy 19:21; Leviticus 24:20) was not one of revenge. “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. I will repay” (Deuteronomy 32:35; Romans 12:19). The purpose of this law was to control excesses; for example, the taking of a life in punishment for a minor offense. This law was meant to “fit the punishment to the crime.” The individual did not have the right to carry this out, because this was a national law. It was carried out through governmental channels. Jesus gave four illustrations of the opposite of retaliation:
B. Yield Your Rights Over Your:
1. Reputation – v. 39 – Note the right cheek – to do this you would do it with the back of your hand – considered the highest insult (in Jewish Rabbinical law). The term “right cheek” really refers to an insult. Jesus is here saying that when someone insults you, you do not have the right of retaliation (cf. John 18:22 ? 23).
In Acts 16:36 ? 37, Paul demanded justice because it was the justice of the land. It was not a matter of personal insult. In 1 Corinthians 9: 4 ? 6, 12, 19, there is an example of Paul and personal insult.
2. Possessions – v. 40 – You do not have a right to your possessions because they belong to God and He can take care of His own possessions. Exodus 22:26 – 27 says you cannot take a man’s cloak. The point is, if your shirt can help another man, give him a coat also. If you really want to help, sacrifice – it really is not yours anyway.
3. Time – v. 41 – You do not have a right to your time. This is strange to us who live in a free society. In Jesus’ time, a soldier could force anyone to carry “baggage” for him.
4. Money – v. 42 – The basic principle is that you are not your own, you were bought with a price, so glorify God in your body (Matthew 20:28; Philippians 2:5 ? 11).
The cure for anger:
A. Distinguish Between “Rights” and “Responsibilities.” Rights divide; responsibilities unite.
B. Decide on Your Master: Your master may be others, yourself, God, Satan (Romans 1:1; Matthew 20:28; 1 Corinthians 6:19, 20; Proverbs 22:24 – 25)
C. Admit That You Are Angry.
D. Correct the Injustice- Two things are more important than worship: Obedience (1 Samuel 15:22) and Relationships (Matthew 5:23 ? 24)
E. Do It Immediately ? Matthew 5:25 ? 26.
F. Ask God to Change Your Heart – Psalm 51:10
